The very words Home Study puts a fear in you like no other! We were terrified! Oh no we're going to be microscopically examined! Will we pass? Will they think we are horrific people? .......Well be prepared.... you will be microscopically examined, after all you are being considered to raise a child not of your own loins! I kind of think everyone thinking of having a baby should have to answer these questions and "approved" to have a child even if they are from their own loins! BUT that's a whole other issue, that I won't get into right now!
My best advice about surviving your home study....relax....it is a lot of personal exposure, but it is for the best, it may even help you decide for sure whether you are truly ready to adopt or not.
Our social worker assigned to do our home study was absolutely wonderful! She had been adopted and had some good advice on how to approach it with your child.
The very first thing she told us to put our nerves at rest was this "Don't worry, I'm not here to look into your closets, or run a white glove above your door frames, I'm here to get to know you and to help you" She was so nice and made us feel at ease. It was like talking to an old friend!
Can you believe I did not keep a copy of the original questions asked by our agency and our home study agency? So these are from memory and although you may or not get the same questions, I believe these to be ones that can help you prepare for what you may be asked. The more you elaborate on each subject the better. Be honest. They will use your answers to "write your story" and whether or not to recommend you for adoption at this time.
Don't worry.... you will be given these questions on paper and you will have plenty of time to answer them, then your social worker will go over them with you and may ask you more questions! Just think how you can get a head start....print these out and get started on your answers now! Each parent will need to answer their own set of questions.
I will add to this list as I remember questions we were asked!
1. What are your feelings towards the birth mother? How do you feel about her giving up her child for adoption?
2. How does your family feel about you bringing a child into the family that is not your biological child?
3. How were you raised? How were you disciplined? Were you raised in Church?
4. How is your relationship with your parents? Mother? Father?
5. How was your relationship with your parents when you were growing up? Mother? Father?
6. Will you raise your child in Church? What denomination?
7. How will you discipline your child? Spanking? Time Outs?
8. What are some of your fondest / happiest memories of growing up? With your Mother? With your Father?
8a. What are some of the hardest / saddest memories of your childhood?
9. What are some things your parents did that you will do also? Why?
10. What are some things your parents did that you will not do? Why not?
11. Do you have siblings? How did you get along with them growing up?
12. What was it like growing up in your home? Happy? Hard?
13. What was your parents relationship with their parents like? Mother? Father?
14. How is your marriage? Strong? Happy?
15. How did you meet? How long did you date? Fondest memory of dating?
16. What are the strong points of your marriage?
17. What do you argue about?
18. What are the most endearing qualities of your spouse?
19. Most aggravating qualities of your spouse?
20. What is a positive memory of your marriage?
21. What is a sad or negative memory of your marriage?
22. How do you feel about being infertile / or unable to have children of your own?
23. Do you blame your spouse?
24. How do you deal with being an infertile couple?
25. How will you explain adoption to your adopted child?
26. How will you deal with others questions and inquiries about your child's adoption?
27. Have you thought about who will take your child if something happens to both of you after you adopt?
28. What parenting skills do you bring to the raising of a child?
29. What parenting skills do you feel your spouse brings to raising a child?
30. What are some personal milestones you are particularly proud of or happy about (any accomplishments)?
31. What hobbies do you enjoy with your spouse? Without your spouse?
32. What are some things you do together?
33. What are some things you do separately?
34. What do you do to relieve stress?
35. Do you have childcare plans? Do you plan on staying home? What if you can not manage this?
36. Who do you look up to and why?
37. What is your relationship with your grandparents?
Your Home Study will also consist of a quick tour of your home, to make sure it a safe environment for a child, and that you have room for a child. They will also make several visits, not just one. We actually began to look forward to her visits, especially the visits after we brought our baby home, she even got in the floor with us and played with the baby.