Sunday, October 4, 2009

Oh my gosh, I looked at my daughter yesterday and I swear she has sprouted overnight, yes I know all parents go through this. You have to understand this is my BABY, probably my ONLY BABY, it's not looking as though adoption is going to be in our future again unless we win the lottery!

You know,......I had a dream before she was born that her birth mom gave birth to a two year old, and I just kept saying NO I wanted a BABY, this can't be my baby......

Well wide awake ~~~~~ here I am almost two years later and I have a baby approaching 2yrs of age. Where did that time go? I remember watching her being born, so I know she was once a tiny baby. I look at the pictures and it scares me...... I can't remember how it felt to hold that tiny baby, I can't remember how she looked unless I look at the pictures of her. I miss my BABY, yet I've got this beautiful 21 month old, that I know so well.

She is napping at the moment and sometimes I just lay beside her and watch her tiny little chest rise and fall in such a peaceful rhythm, and it just puts my heart at peace. Sometimes she giggles in her sleep and it just warms my soul, sometimes she cries out and I reach out and pull her close and let her know mommy is here.

I do still get to hold her ......when she wants me too, and ONLY if she wants me to (little miss independent) . I treasure these days when she is so clingy (far and few in between). I do stop what I am doing and hold this beautiful little girl as tight as she wants me to, because I know these beautiful days will pass also, and soon I'll be sending her off to school! Dishes, laundry, paying bills, doing the floors, cleaning .......all of that CAN wait it won't be going anywhere. My baby is going somewhere.... she's growing up, and that I don't want to miss, because I had to do the dishes!!!

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