Friday, October 30, 2009
???? WHY ????
The question why? My daughter who is not quite two years old yet, has started asking why? This blows me away I thought I had about a year more before this started? WHY?? I ask you. It is so adorable, she'll say "what's that?" I'll answer her. She says "Why?" That little sweet voice is the most precious thing I have ever heard!! Her little mind is exactly like a sponge...it's amazing to watch her soak up information and process it, you can almost see her little wheels turning. You can just about guess what's coming out of that sweet little mouth next. I guess the questions about her adoption and birth family won't be far behind. I guess it's time to have the "Adoption Talk" again. I don't want the words to be unfamiliar to her, I want this story to be her normal. I want her to know everything she wants to know. I do kind of wish I never had to tell her. I am not a person who likes change, and my fear is the understanding of adoption will change our relationship. I just want to make her little life as pain free as I can. If anyone has adopted out there or if you were adopted I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject. I guess honesty is the best policy, but I do worry about the question "Why?" when she's asking me why her birth mom placed her for adoption. I just hope I can make this knowledge a part of her life and not something she is hurt by. Does that make sense?I love this little girl with all of my heart, and I want her to be so wrapped up in our love that being adopted will be no big deal. I know I have mentioned this before, I am so worried she will feel out of place and that she will resent us for taking her from her birth family. She is one special little girl, and her birth family are a very special group of people, and I have become "friends" with them in a way. We stay in contact through face book mainly, and they are very sweet people that I want my daughter to know. I just don't ever want her to hurt, or feel out of place, or feel like she wasn't wanted. I want to teach her God had a plan, and His plan was for her to be our daughter and since I couldn't have a baby, He chose another mommy to carry her for me, and give her to me after she was born. I honestly believe this. The circumstances that brought her to us are just too perfect not to be God's plan. I just have to be prepared for all those "Whys?"