Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Desire Never Goes Away
Just a quick note today...someone I know just had a baby. While it no longer haunts me like it used to, I do still get that pang in my heart. The baby looks just like her, and I look at this baby and all floods back, no one will ever say to me "she looks just like you" I just get looks like I don't know if i should ask or not ? Did you cheat on your husband or is this your child, or is she adopted? I always get the question, where did all that dark hair come from? As much as I love my daughter, I do still hurt that I will never experience pregnancy, and morning sickness, I will never experience giving birth, and I will never hear someone say "Aw how cute she looks just like you!" My husband says it is something I have to let to go, but he'll never get how deep the desire is to procreate and you want to give birth to something that spectacular. Men only have the desire to spread their seed, and we have the deep desire to carry a child of our own. I know some say I have it great I have a beautiful daughter and I didn't have to go through 9 months of sickness and bloating. Well I do have the most beautiful daughter, and I did go through a of "stuff" to get her, stuff you will never understand unless you go through it! So be careful pregnant mommies not to complain about those pregnancy pains because you might be talking to someone who would give their left arm to be having those same pregnancy pains! I am truly happy for my friends and family who can birth their children, really I am. I just want them to realize what a miracle it truly is.